February was no fun at all and it looks like March wants to get in on the torment.
By the time March was over, I went to 19 appointments.
I don't know if I can do this much longer. Everyone wants to hurt me, seems like they say hello by stabbing me in the arm.
My arms are so sore and bruised, I still have the drains dangling from me.
I do have something good to look forward to, a much needed distraction to everything else.
The Lovely Cassidy will again be visiting us for a few days.
Cassidy is one of our former foster puppies and what we call a frequent flyer here. She comes by all of the time for puppy sitting when her Daddy goes out of town.
She's such a beautiful girl, perfect posture and very poised, she prances around like a ballerina. Cassidy has the distinction of being the only puppy that has met every single puppy since her adoption. She's always here when a new litter shows up and she gets along so well with all of the little ones.
And then I get another phone call I didn't expect and certainly did not want. There is an anomaly in my lower left jaw, they want me to schedule another biopsy.
Oh Hell no, not again.
The biopsy was scheduled for March 1. I had to check in at Grossmont Hospital at 6am. This time I was home late that afternoon.
Yes, yes, yes! The biopsy results came back negative! The doctor said I apparently have some dead cancer cells in my jaw. The doctor said it's nothing to be concerned about right now, we'll keep an eye on it.
That was good news. I had already decided if this biopsy came back positive, I was going to pull the cord and get off of the bus. I really don't want to deal with 2 cancers at the same time. I don't want any more operations and the rest of the bad things that go along with it.
So I spent all of March getting poked and stabbed. I'm really over this.
I had an appointment with the Urologist to go through a Cystoscopy. This is a procedure where radiation is put in my veins to see if anything lights up that could show the possibility of cancer. Oh no, not again.
I cancelled this appointment and all other appointments that were not directly related to the cancer I already have. I just can't take any more of this.
I went to the surgeon to finally get these damn drains removed. Yuck, what an ordeal. I didn't look at anything, I just said to pull these things out and let me go home.
I thought the pain would subside but it didn't. I could still feel the stabbing sensation for a few more weeks.
I had another consultation with my Oncologist. He wants me to start Chemo next week. Although I knew this was coming, I wasn't ready for it.
I let him know that I still wasn't sure that I wanted to go through Chemo. I've heard so many things about side effects and everything else that goes along with wishing you were dead.
So after listening to him and John along with 15 other people nagging me to go ahead and do it, I finally caved and told them that I would give it a shot.
My first Chemo session is on March 14.
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